幸福的黃金比例5:1

曾經看過一篇文章,內容提及幸福的婚姻,這個話題也切身吧,相信大部分的男女都希望有一段幸福美滿的婚姻.過去幾年看過不少朋友的婚禮,每一次都令我感動,看著好友與另一半認真地宣讀誓詞,甜蜜地擁吻著,幸福的感覺滿潟了,美滿的婚姻隨之展開.

但願十年後,二十年後,他們的婚姻仍然幸福美滿.
為何我這樣感慨呢?

或許是聽到不少香港的情侶或是夫婦埋怨他們的感情淡了,已沒有當初甜蜜的感覺,即使一起,生活亦淡而無味.結果一是分開,一是保持關係,但各自精彩.

怎樣才能維繫一段幸福的婚姻呢?我們能把它像果醬般當它最甜美的時候放到冰箱雪著嗎?即使可以,也不能雪一世啊!

這篇文章提及到心理學家在訪問過無數對夫婦後,發現了一個神奇的幸福的黃金比例:5比1.這個意思是,在婚姻中感到正面的,愉快的情緒是負面的,懮傷的情緒五倍.這些正面的情緒是由稱讚,欣賞,感謝,感動,驚喜,幫助,表達愛意,開玩笑等而來的,而負面的是由埋怨,挑剔,責罵,誤解,自視過高等等而來的.

這個比例有一份是負面的,換言之,幸福的婚姻不一定是完美無暇的,每人都有其缺點,令人看不順眼的地方,兩人相處總有衝突,問題是當相方存著衝突時,會用什麼態度和方法去解決,要知道不理性所作的決定是極有損害性的,不能回頭.

我們不奢求減少負面的情緒,因這未必是控制範圍內,但增加正面情緒是可以由自己作主的.

相信大部分人都發覺負面情緒或事情帶來的影響遠比正面的深而遠;你會記得失戀時的痛苦,但初戀時的甜蜜感覺卻隨時間慢慢消失,你會記得一個人對你做過什麼不好的事情,但不會在意他/她關心你替你解悶的時候.若負面情緒帶來的影響是正面的兩倍,你有一半時間開心,一半時間傷心的話,整體的情緒都是負面的.

那麼若要做到5:1的效果,你的好心情一定要比壞心情多起碼十倍!當你心情好,既自信又樂觀,即使對方有什麼不對,也可一笑置之,繼續生活得開開心心.

從今日開始,在心裡放一個袋子,將所有快樂的,正面的,使人欣慰的心情儲起來,以備不時之用.

"贈人玫瑰,手留余香",想把這些香氣放在袋裏吧,不妨多贈你的一半一支玫瑰.

Animation

Right now, I'm watching Nightmre before Christmas. Yes, it's an old movie and many have watched it. I want to watch it for a long time and now I have the time. =>

I'm thinking.....how about writing down all the animation I have watched.

ok..they are not in order:

Nightmre before Christmas
Corpse Bride
The Incredibles
Shrek 1 2 3
Mulan 1 2
The Lion King
Nemo
Monster House
Open Season
Cars

Flushed Away
Over the Hedge
Wallace and Gromit The curse of the were-rabbit
Hoodwinked

Laputa
千與千尋
哈爾的移動城堡
龍貓
風之谷
幽靈公主
歲月的童話
飛天紅豬俠
再見瑩火蟲

The Queen and Maria Antoinette

In the past two days, I have seen The Queen and Maria Antoinette. The first one is attracted by the movie while the second one is attachted by the costume.

Undoubtedly, the Queen is a very good movie. Usually I'm not interested in biographical features as they are sometimes boring. However, Helen Mirren's acting has changed my perception. She is such a talented and beautiful actress. The movie is produced seriously with the consideration of using clips of news about Princess Diana and her death.

As for Maria Antoinette, besides the fasinating costume and shoes, I do feel disappointed about the movie. I can't see the message that the director would like to deliever. The movie tells the daily live of Maria Antoinette but it's not interesting at all. The charater is not strong or maybe the director doesn't want to focus on the history but what is the main theme. However, the mix of light blue and gold has given me idea on design. It's very sweet and royal.

Sculpture at HK Park

Today, Regeen, Mac, Sharon and I went to the ceramic exhibition in which our teacher Wan sir has several pieces displayed. This reminds me that I haven't attended ceramic class for morn than six months.

Next we went to see the sculpture displayed at HK park. The theme is about olympic in China. Here are some pieces I like:

They are my ceramic pals.